Home, Sweet Home

I'm back. I hope you enjoyed my absence as much as I did! Back to the grind--back to the housework--but most importantly, back to my own bed. Oh, how I missed you so, dear bed of mine! You and your soft, Tide-smelling goodness!!

Our trip was quite the adventure. We were gone for just over 3 weeks--which has become an apparent annual tradition in the summer. A big shout out and thanks to my dear sister and her family who graciously host us every year for a large portion of our time away. You're the best!!

We went from here to Utah, then up to Canada, then back home, with a detour through Glacier National Park. It was a fun trip!

So, as has become custom for me and my trips, I'd like to share with you the many things I learned on this vacation. So grab a drink (preferably a hard one), sit back, take a load off, and prepare yourself for a long one:

Feeding Bean with Bacon soup to your family on the night before you leave on a trip is not a good idea.
I don't know whose big idea it was to feed them this, but it wasn't a good one. The 15 hour drive to Utah was a "fruitful" one, to say the least. Fruitful and fragrant.

Just ignoring a child's question you really don't want to answer works...at least temporarily. While we were resting our "areas" at a rest area, Wonderella and I were in adjacent stalls in the bathroom. While we were doing our business, Wonderella asks, "Mom, what are feminine hygiene products?" She pronounced "feminine" funny--like the number 9. I really didn't want to have that conversation with her--especially not in the discomfort of some disgusting rest area bathroom. So what did I do? I just ignored her. Fortunately for me, she didn't ask again.

The name Kamela is one of the worst names ever.
There's a place called Kamela in Oregon that we drive through on the way to Utah. It reminded me of a woman named Kamela I coached a basketball team with a few years ago. One of my Sarahs and I joked about it for quite awhile. Kamela. Her parents didn't like Pamela I guess, and went for Kamela instead. It's just horrible. Or maybe it was a mixture of Cameron and Pamela or something. Reminds me of an old roommate of mine named Kevara. Her name was a mixture of her parents' names--Kevin and Barbara. We called her Barvin instead. Nice ring to it, don't you think?

Girls have gonads too.
Ok, this one I already knew, but I am on a personal mission to make sure the whole world knows it too. We rented a boat for a couple days while at Hamburglar's family reunion, and during my 'shift' on the boat, it was extremely cold! It was raining and cloudy, and the water was polar (to use my sis-in-law's term). As I jumped in the water for my turn to waterski, I exclaimed that "I was freezing my 'nads off." (A typical expression of mine.) One of my nephews looked all confused and was like "You don't have 'nads," to which I explained to him that girls indeed had gonads. After a brief anatomy lesson, he was convinced, and off we went. I really want to trademark the saying and print it on a T-shirt: "Girls have gonads too." I think it'd be a best-seller. We women aren't getting the respect we deserve.

Forget Disneyland--BYU is the happiest place on earth.
All those shiny, happy people everywhere.....errr....or something like that....

We stopped by our alma mater and gave our kids a brief tour. It's amazing how much the campus has changed, but it's still fun to go back and reminisce and show our kids the old stomping grounds.

Bossing your nieces and nephews around is never going to help you win the "nicest aunt" award.
I have a sister-in-law who loves to buy her nieces and nephews treats, take them out for ice cream and pedicures, etc. She's so nice. She's buying my kids' love. And it's working. Me with my nieces and nephews? Not so much. That's not my method. I prefer to tell them what to do, and mother them like they're my own. Because, quite frankly, some of them need some mothering. I figure one day they'll love me for my deep concern for their safety and well-being. One day I'll be that favorite aunt. Oh yes.... one day.... Ok, maybe not. But as long as I don't take the "mean aunt" title, I'll be Ok with it.... Someone else already has that title, but I'm not telling who....

You never know where life will take you...
I was able to see a couple of college friends and one childhood friend while I was away. It was great to see them again and catch up on all the happenings, and get the scoop on others we once knew. It's amazing to me the different paths people's lives have taken. None better than the other--just different.

Lightning is terrifying.
Right after we crossed into Canada, we hit a major lightning storm. Major. Probably the worst lightning storm I've ever driven through. The lightning was everywhere and it was close. The rain was pelting down, the lightning was striking everywhere, the thunder was deafening, and I was genuinely freaked out. Perhaps because my great-grandfather was killed by lightning, I am a little more sensitive to these things, but it was crazy.

As I have mentioned before, private toilets are a wonderful blessing.
In fact, I am quite confident that nothing preserves family unity like a private pot. The family that does not poop together, stays together, that's what I always say.
We were fortunate enough to have our own bathroom for the majority of the trip.

Never live anywhere that has high iron content in its water.
While in a more rural area of Canada, we stayed at a cabin that had water with really high levels of iron in it. Apparently, it was safe to drink, just not safe to smell. Every time I walked into that shower, I felt like I was showering in blood. It just stank of iron. I didn't ever come out of that shower feeling very clean.
Also notable about that bathroom--a door that didn't close--and a peep hole in it to boot. Good thing we were all family... Here it is:
There was a Sham Wow long before the invention of those ultra-absorbent orange cloths.
So I'm at the previously-mentioned cabin. And I go to remove the sham off of one of the beds, and to my surprise, it was not to be removed. Why? Because it wasn't a sham at all. The sham was a sham. It was merely a piece of fabric sewn onto the bedspread, then draped over the pillow as to appear like a sham. I think I know what they were doing at the Homemaking Super Saturday of 1978!! Of course, I took photos for your viewing pleasure.
So, you lift the faux sham....
And put a pillow under it, spread it all out, nice-like, and ta-da!! A Sham Wow! As in...."Oh, let me just move this sham......Wow!! It's not a sham. Wow!" Or you may call it a shamspread. Whichever you prefer. Either way, save yourself a pillow. It's a beautiful, beautiful thing. The rust brown is a nice touch, too, I must say.


The Canadian Rockies are amazing.
I knew this already. But I honestly had forgotten how beautiful it is up there. Gorgeous. And I had forgotten how light it stays there for so long. It didn't get dark until about 10:30 pm, which made for some fun. My family and my brother's family spent some time in Waterton National Park in Canada and Glacier National Park in Montana. Amazing! We saw almost every animal you could imagine seeing up there: bear, deer, mountain goats, bighorn sheep, moose, and my favorite--lots of chipmunks. No elk and no wolves, and no bison. But we saw plenty of others. My favorite was probably the baby mountain goat and friends. The baby was so cute! They were so close to us, and you don't see these mountain goats too often. You have to be pretty high up on the mountain--which we were while on the Going to the Sun road in Glacier. If you've never been, you need to. It's truly spectacular!











Here's Wonderella at the top of our Bear Hump hike in Waterton. We climbed it with only moderate whining from the children, and only moderate anxiety from me over the possibility of running into a bear. Most terrifying: trying to keep the kids from falling off the top of the mountain. Most notable: the 20 minute Bear Dump VidKid took at the end of the Bear Hump hike.

Flatulence humor applies to animals too.
You may remember my Generation Gas-X post where I commented on how anything having to do with flatulence is hilarious to children. I learned that this applies to animal fluffing as well.
While in the mountains, Hamburglar took Wonderella and VidKid horseback riding. I refrained from going--someone had to stay back with Big Red, plus--I'm not entirely comfortable with that much power between my legs. The kids each had their own horse and they had a great time. VidKid's favorite? The scenic vistas? The panoramic view of the Rockies? Nope. Being behind Wonderella's horse, Molly, who apparently had a bad case of gas. Made it all worth the ride...and the chafed arse.

I'm still proud to be an American.
Even though I feel like the America I know and love is slipping away from me with every minute Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi, and Harry Reid are in office, I still deeply love this country. I was fortunate enough to spend Independence Day with 50,000 of my closest friends at the Stadium of Fire in Provo, and it was a great night! Jonas Brothers and all. There was no talk of politics--just good, inspirational, patriotic music and dancing, with a butt-load of fireworks! The F-16 flyovers always give me chills!

We really need to get Cadbury's chocolate bars in the USA.
I spent 50 bucks on Canadian candy. 50 bucks! Mostly on chocolate. And potato chips. And a little grapefruit pop. Oh, how I've missed it!

Freckle-faced farmboys are hard workers.
Towards the end of our trip, my father took us to visit the farm that he grew up on. I have been several times before, but this time we got a tour, where my dad talked about all the different buildings, the barn, and the old automobiles and machinery that remain on the land. Now that was the simple life...a simple life that wasn't so simple. A lot of hard work. A lot of sacrifice. A lot of character. I'm proud to come from a small-town farmboy.

Jon Bon Jovi and I are "like this" (me with my fingers crossed).
While on the way home, after spending the day in Waterton and Glacier parks, we couldn't find a hotel room, so we ended up driving through the night. At about 4:30 am, while I was driving through eastern Washington, Jon Bon Jovi and I shared a special moment. The sun was starting to rise, the music was playing, my family was asleep, the road was barren. It was just me and Jon. Together. Alone. Ok, Ritchie Sambora was there too. Perfect harmony, t'was. I've said before that Jon would be the sexiest man ever....if he weren't a Democrat.

Now, on a more serious note (brace yourselves....)
I have the best grandmothers in the world.
I was able to visit with both of my grandmas on this trip, one of whom I hadn't seen for many years. You may be surprised to know that both of my grandmothers read this blog. Shocking, I know! I'm sure there are times they must shake their heads at me, and want to give me a fine scolding. But I'm blessed with 2 beautiful, fun, funny, and hip grandmothers. No fuddy-duddies. Just 2 strong, lovely women whom I adore. So here's a shout out to them! I love you!

Home is wherever you are.
Besides where I live now, I've only called 2 other places my home: my small town in Alberta, Canada and Provo, Utah. I visited both of these places, and it was a great trip down mammary lane for me. Very nostalgic.

I loved Provo, Utah for its glorious sunrises and sunsets, for its beautiful mountains, for BYU's amazing campus full of amazing people. Some of the best times of my life were had there: experiencing college with all of its fabulous fun and excitement, starting my life with Hamburglar, starting my first "real" job, etc. It's fun to go back, but it's not the same. It's not my home anymore. It was the people that made Provo fun and fascinating. Those people and those experiences are long-gone, though they have made an indelible impression on me.

I hadn't been back to my hometown in Canada for many years. I had forgotten how simple and beautiful it is there. No traffic. No rat race. No one in too big of a hurry. Everyone knows everyone. Only in a small town like that can you walk into the dental office to say hello to your family friend who happens to be the town dentist, and still know the receptionist and assistant, and while there, run into your gradeschool teacher who taught you and all of your older siblings 5th Grade. It's the simple life. In some ways, I miss it alot. I love the gorgeous mountains, the amazing, big, blue sky with its fabulous clouds, and the earthy smell of crops growing in the fields. Not too much has changed there--but it's no longer my home. Most of the people I knew and loved have moved on, just like I have, but they played a huge part of who I am today. I will always be grateful I grew up in a small farmtown.

I loved each of these places, just as I love where I am today, because home is wherever you make it. Of course, some places are better than others, but it doesn't matter so much where you are, so long as you're with the people you love. Surround yourself with good friends and family, be happy, embrace the positive, have fun, and you'll always be at home.

Return With Honor

I neglected to mention that I will be gone for the next few weeks.  In fact I'm gone right now.  Off into the great blue yonder.  Off into the motherland.  My plan is to stuff myself to the point of bloating from black beans at Cafe Rio and to gain 5 lbs just off of Canadian candy bars.    That's the plan....I'll let you know how it goes.

I will attend 2 family reunions...so again, I'll be sure to have some fabulous stories to share.  Family reunions are just like that.

But I will return.  I will return with honor.  I hope....

 

Totally 80s Tuesday

So yesterday I booked tickets for my family to go to The Stadium of Fire--which is a huge 4th of July concert/fireworks show/celebration. It will be hosted by Glenn Beck this year, with the Jonas Brothers and SheDaisy performing. Try not to be jealous. I know you want to see the Jonas Brothers. I know you do.

I was reminded of the days when Hamburglar and I were in college and we would go and sit outside the stadium on the 4th of July and listen to/watch the events because we were too poor (cheap) to get tickets to go inside. One year, the performers were most notable: Huey Lewis and the News.

That's right. Huey. Huey Lewis. And the News.

So I thought it would be good to take a stroll down mammay lane with Huey. So many good songs and videos to choose from. One thing I remember about Huey's (we're on a first name basis) videos, was that they always had a story to tell...

If This is It http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4yIxIhO23c
Power of Love Bonus Back to the Future goodness on this one.

Stuck With You (my favorite) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SdwNVJIcg7k
Doing it All for My Baby http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lpdZvewjwJs
The Heart of Rock and Roll http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEKUmzJO54Y
Heart and Soul
Do You Believe in Love
Hip to Be Square
Want a New Drug http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_BVYgA-ZnM


Oh, Huey. Thanks for the mammaries.

Hang Low? Wobble To and Fro?

So there's a lady who goes to my step class who I get a kick out of. I'm sure she's a lovely person, but I just get a kick out of her complete lack of rhythm and coordination. She's always at least a step or two off, and that's OK. I don't make fun of her--in fact, I admire her for her dedication and resilience! She keeps coming, day after day....never quite getting the steps...but that's OK. She gets a workout, and she's there, and I think that's great! Really I do.

She's a middle-aged woman, and always comes into the gym looking very haggard and worn out...with big bags under her eyes. I always thought it was because she was tired. But the other day I learned the real reason. She doesn't have bags under her eyes... she has black eyes. Bruised eyes from her bosoms slapping her in the face! This lady doesn't wear a bra...or if she does...then she might as well not. Because it is doing NOTHING for her. NOTHING, people. Her generously sized ta tas were flopping all over the place...left, right....up, down... over, under...in and out.

The old Kamilli would have had a hard time not laughing and staring at such a sight. But no, no...the new Kamilli got one chuckle and then continued along with the class--keeping a safe distance. Who knew where those things were gonna fly next?!

No Thanks

The other day I was driving home through a neighborhood I don't normally drive through, and saw something that made me realize I've been missing out on some quality time with the neighbors.

I was driving along, following a few cars in front of me, and I spotted something ahead of me coming out of the trees of a yard. The houses are set back from the street quite a ways in this neighborhood, so it was kind of hard to see what was going on. And then I saw this vision in all its grandeur: a sixty year old portly woman in a big, poofy pumpkin suit waving at cars and beckoning them to stop and visit her garage sale. The vision of her white, chubby bare legs sticking out of the orange suit was truly something to behold. Oh, how I wish I had had my camera at that moment. Words just can't describe it.

Is this how desperate we've become? We have to resort to such gimmicks to attract people to our garage sales? It's like those big inflatable dinosaurs the car dealers put on top of their buildings. Or the big inflatable gorillas that our local "Lovers" store (formerly "Lover's Package"...miss that name) puts on top of theirs. What do gorillas and lovers have in common? I have some theories, but I am just not sure, so I'll keep them to myself. Just like I'm not sure what large pumpkins and garage sales have in common. I guess it's just all about catching people's attention. But is it the right kind of attention?

Like the girls who wear slutty outfits...or the people who purposely wear bizarre hairstyles, makeup, and clothing. Or the people who insist on loudly sharing their strange and odd opinions and thoughts. They're all gimmicks. Yeah, they get my attention. But I still don't stop and shop at their garage sales if you know what I mean. So does the gimmick really work?

So think about this the next time you put your short skirt on, or put an inflatable gorilla above your store, or put on a pumpkin suit at your garage sale: I see you--but I ain't buying.

Happy Doughnut Day!!!

Happy Doughnut Day to you and yours! What? You didn't know it was National Doughnut Day? Well, let me tell you about it...

From LDS News (yes...the LDS News. The fact that the LDS News is reporting on doughnuts really speaks volumes about our culture, but I digress...) : "The first Friday in June is National Doughnut Day. First celebrated in 1938 by the Chicago Salvation Army, the day was dedicated to raising funds to honor Salvation Army women volunteers who served coffee and fresh doughnuts to thousands of soldiers during World War I.

In fact, women who fried the doughnuts for troops during wartime were called �doughgirls.� The term �doughboy� referred to the soldiers who ate the doughnuts.

Today the U.S. alone consumes about ten million of these tasty treats each year. So what is the most popular variety? The traditional yeast-raised glazed doughnut. "

I am not a doughirl. I do not make the donuts. I am a doughboy. I eat the donuts; and as such, I'd like to just add my tribute to the donut. It's a beautiful, plump, round, glorious circle of greasy, fatty goodness. There's nothing quite like a warm donut that just melts in your mouth and adds lard to your arse. Nothing like it. There's nothing quite like hitting the Krispy Kreme store while they're handing out free glazed donuts and then just leaving without buying anything. Not that I would know or anything...

My favorites? Glazed, apple fritter, lemon, maple, chocolate with sprinkles, chocolate without sprinkles, raspberry jelly-filled, cinnamon...hell! Who am I kidding? I love them all! I've never met a donut I didn't like.

Growing up in my small hometown, we had the best damn bakery this side of the Atlantic. It was run by a Dutchman (of course), and it was so good. In particular, the bismarcks (raspberry filled), and the long johns. So very, very good. As the years passed, my next door neighbor actually became the head baker...and sadly, I never really capitalized on that. I never used that to my advantage. What was I thinking? What was my mother thinking? There were all sorts of goods and services we could've bartered for some free donuts.

In fact, there was one time that I babysat for them, and the baker's wife offered to pay me in cash or in Mary Kay products. I of course took the cash. But in hindsight, I should've asked for payment in donuts! Now that would've been a good babysitting gig. Win-win really. They unload their unsold donuts, I load on some extra poundage.

And, as a side note, I have a feeling that since the first National Day of Menopause (aka Obama Inauguration Day), the National Day of the Donut will have new meaning. The donut has seen me through some tough times, and I have a feeling it might see the rest of the country through some tough times ahead as well. So thank you, dear, delectable donut, for all the joy and grandeur you have brought to our lives.

Mmmmmm.....donuts.......

What's your favorite donut?

And They All Go Marching Down . . .

Just a lovely, "touching" story to share today:

You know when you see a spider, or you think about a spider, or any crawling critter for that matter, you kind of get the willies and feel like something is crawling on you...in your hair, on your arm, or up your back?

We've been seeing a lot of ants in our house lately, and yesterday Wonderella spotted a few more by our front entrance, and yelled, "Mom, there are more ants down here!" Right after she said that, I felt a crawling sensation on my back. I kind of scratched back there, but felt nothing, so I assumed it was just all psychological trickery. I continued with my business of the day, but then felt the crawling sensation again--this time on my lower back. Again, I scratched, but again...felt nothing. THEN....I felt a crawling sensation going down my...well....how do I say this gently?.....butt crack! THEN I knew it was time to thoroughly investigate the matter before something tragic and unseemly occurred. I went into the bathroom, and lo and behold--I had an ant in my underwear. I had ants in my pants...in my underpants! Awesome. Thank goodness it wasn't a fire ant! Yowsers!!! Another tragedy successfully avoided.

Let's Hear it For the Boy: Part Deux

Remember this incident? When VidKid heroically saved me from the huge, despicable spider by smashing the hell out of it? Remember that?

Well, yesterday as I was trying to corral all the kids into the car to go to Wonderella's gymnastics, a quite large garter snake slithered its disgusting self right into my garage and coiled itself into a dark corner. I shrieked (of course!), and then shrieked again...and again....but then I was determined to get that bugger out of my garage. We were late for gymnastics, but no matter--I was not leaving with that thing in there!

So I'm scrambling to find a stick or anything to help me scoot the thing out, while unbeknownst to me, Big Red had witnessed the incident and was taking matters into his own hands. I see him coming down the porch steps with a broom in his hand and a dustpan too. He was going to take care of this reptilian monster--and had the dustpan to clean up afterwards too. Being the janitor in training that he is, of course he would think to bring the dustpan. So he has the broom in his hands, and he just starts trying to beat on the thing. Wham! Wham! Wham! I quickly intervened, because I didn't want snake guts all over my garage. I was able to sweep the thing out of the garage and into my front garden, and off it went. Go and be free, you horrid, disgusting thing!

But what brave boys I have!! They have saved me from the horrible beasts that surround me on numerous occasions. So again, I will repeat--this time for Big Red--let's hear it for the boy! Let's give the boy a hand. Yes....a hand.

What the ? Wednesday

It's been so long. I need a rant.

1. So the other night I had just lay down to go to bed, had turned on my television for a little nighttime lullaby courtesy of Glenn Beck, when I feel this thud on the bed. I looked over, and Hamburglar was totally out. Gone. Asleep. So I knew it wasn't him. But I knew I felt something. And it felt like it had come from under my bed. So I reach down and feel down there, and lo and behold--there's my sweet Wonderella. She was under my bed. Asleep. She had snuck in there after Hamburglar fell asleep. Now, I don't think I need to explain how, if she and Hamburglar had both been awake, this could have turned into one of the most traumatic moments of a young girl's life. Thankfully, Hamburglar was asleep and couldn't try to get frisky with me. I think had this happened, it would have been Wonderella screaming "What the heck?!" Tragedy avoided.

2. Have we all become numb yet to all the idiotic things that Obama has done since he took office? Does anyone else hear things on the radio now that normally would shock you, but now don't even surprise you? Like his speech yesterday about running GM, and telling it what kind of crappy cars to make, and how he's put a 31 year old with no experience into the job of dismantling the company. Why has the federal goverment stuck its nose where it shouldn't? Why is capitalism dying a painful death? Why are they even considering the value-added tax (basically a 10% sales tax) at a time like this? Why, why, why? The answer to all these questions is because the federal government is far too big, far too intrusive, far too powerful, and those who are in power are a bunch of stupid socialists. Pelosi, Reid, Obama? The amazing hypocrisy that abounds everywhere you look? ugh. Sigh....I must stop now. I'll leave it at this....my new favorite bumper sticker: Sure hope you voters are happy. Thanks for screwing up the country.

3. "I have a richer life experience and therefore can make better decisions and make better policy from the bench because I'm a Latina woman" Sotomayer? Gag. Don't even get me started....I hope the Republicans show the same respect for Obama's pick that he showed Bush's picks.

4. Have you heard about cell phone elbow? Now talking on the cell phone not only gives you brain cancer, but it also damages the nerves in your elbow. Really? Who talks on the phone so long that they're damaging elbow nerves? I think cell phone elbow is the least of these people's problems. Obviously, these people need to get a bluetooth device, which would eliminate the need for the bending of the elbow, and then they could walk around in public and make everyone think that they're talking to themselves all day. You've seen them. The people who just walk around with their bluetooth device in their ear all day. I see them every day, and every time I think they're crazies because they look like they're talking to themselves. But obviously they're not crazies. They're geniuses. Geniuses who love their elbows. Their beautiful, glorious elbows.

Totally 80s Tuesday

Ok, since sister wife is dying for her Totally 80s Tuesday...here it is. :)

Remember Converse All-Star high-tops? Remember these? Oh, blessed shoes. They were popular and worn before the 80s, and they're still popular today--which is a testament to the fine craftsmanship of these shoes. They've been around for awhile! But they were really big in the 80s.

They came in all colors of the rainbow. I had two pair: pink and orange. Not just orange. Fluorescent orange. Remember how fluorescent
colors were so big back then?

I used to wear one pink one and one orange one together. Pink on the left, orange on the right. Cuz pink and orange go soooo well together.

Did you wear these high-tops? Or low-tops? What color were they?

Tracking Down the Creeps: Part 9

It's been awhile! More web searches that have led people right here. I am sure they were all disappointed with their results....



+ curtained showers
I give curtained showers more than just a + ! I give them an A++. If only they were all curtained......maybe the YMCA would be a safe place again....shudder...

are you concerned that pageants discriminate against families who are not able to spend too much money on tacky outfits
Yes, thanks for asking. Very concerned. We've got to stop this discrimination and find a way to help these struggling families get the help they need so they too can buy tacky outfits. Obama? Where are you, Obama?

husband gets fever blisters but not me
hmmm....well, I guess it's good it's just fever blisters....and not some other type of herpes. Then, I might be a little concerned, if I were you....

"rattail off
Amen!! Off with y'er rattail heads!

winnie vanili
Yet another great name.

how do people live with tourettes
It is hard, I must say. But we find a way to battle through, each and every day. One day at a time, that's what I always say....

exercise induced tourettes
This could explain many things. Probably similar to Zumba-induced Tourettes.

miss+piggy+teat+flu
Miss Piggy has the teat flu? Oh dear.

ya give me fever like ive never ever known
I have that effect on people.

driving with kid with tourettes
As I've mentioned before, I am usually the one with the Tourettes...not my kids. Although sometimes Tourette syndrome is contagious, I've discovered.

spin bike sore fanny
My condolences. It's a rough go for awhile. I feel your pain.

what does hamburglar say
He says "get off the dang computer and make me some dinner!" Well, at least that's what my Hamburglar says.

land of the d cups
Like the land of milk and honey....

banana clip hair mane
It's a beautiful, glorious thing. Nothing quite like romping through the meadows with the wind blowing through your beautiful, blond, banana clip mane.

spider touched hands
It all sounds sooooo romantic. Tell me more.

Double d's at 13 years old?
The question mark at the end says it all. It just doesn't seem possible, does it?

"I see a diamond deep"
Very, very deep....

you've give me fever chachaha
You've give me laughs. chachacha

crotch pain on spin cycle
Are you sitting on your washing machine?

kamilli child
Only a child at heart....

"banana clip" mane -gucci
Gucci makes a banana clip? I gotta get me one of those. A designer banana clip! Doesn't get much better than that.

Totally 80s Tuesday

I was putting my pants on today and was reminded of this commercial:


Big, fluffy buns.

Happy Birthday, Blog!

Today is my blog's first birthday. Happy birthday, Kamilli Vanilli, ol' blog, ol' friend. You've been a real pal this past year, coaching me through some difficult times (such as Obama's ridiculous election), and laughing with me through some good ones.

We've covered a vast array of topics together--from the joys and secret pleasures of Guitar Heroine, to the pains of pooping at a family reunion. We've paid tribute to some fine folk, and mocked the idiotic folk. We've talked about all sorts of things that common decency says we shouldn't: politics, religion, money, . . . and toilet paper.

I don't know what the future holds for us. As I look back at the past year's posts, I marvel at all that can happen in one year. There are times when I feel like we've got nothing left to talk about, you and I. What more can I possibly say that hasn't already been said? But, thankfully, there is never a shortage of idiots out there. Something stupid or silly inevitably comes along to give me something to talk about. So we plug along . . . one pointless, ridiculous post at a time.

Happy Memorial Day

Happy Memorial Day to you and yours. In the midst of all our yardwork, barbeques, badminton, and all-round jolly, good times, I hope we'll remember to say a prayer of thanks to those who gave the ultimate sacrifice to protect our liberties and freedom.

Wonderella had to memorize "The Concord Hymn" for school, (and therefore, I ended up memorizing it too), so I am reminded of these words from it:

Spirit, that made those heroes dare
To die, and leave their children free,
Bid Time and Nature gently spare
The shaft we raise to them and thee.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

What the ? Wednesday

1. Anyone see "The View" this morning? Gag. Glenn Beck was the guest and...you can imagine how that all went down. Whoopi and Barbara went after him for the stupidest thing, and never gave him a chance to defend himself. They are incapable of just letting people speak without interrupting them. I haven't watched the show in months and months, and today just reminded me why. They make me so angry. I have no problem listening to other people's views, but I do have a problem listening to people who won't listen to other people's views. At least let the guy speak!

2. Joe Biden and the whole "revealing the secret location of the VP bunker" thing? What an idiot!! The guy should not be VP. What other secrets will he reveal?

3. What's the deal with Obama telling the car companies they need to make their cars more fuel-efficient? Have we lost all common sense in this country? Hmmmm...let's see...we have these struggling car companies, and we're going to tell them they need to spend more money and more time making cars that nobody wants to buy, and that will add 1300-7000 dollars more to the cost of the cars. We're going to make their job of selling cars that much more difficult. Does this make any sense? Obama's going around firing CEOs and telling these companies how to run their businesses. What the ?! This is madness. Madness, I tell you!

4. Californians shot down tax increases yesterday? Wow!! This is a "what the he!!"....but in a good sort of way! I'm impressed! Tell those state legislators to start cutting the heck out of all the crap they spend millions on....6 figure pensions for state workers, etc. And shut down the dang border. Man, they could save so much money if they didn't have so many illegals milking the system and filling the prisons!

American Idol tonight! Who's gonna win? He's the underdog, but I hope it's Kris. Adam's talented and all--but I just like Kris better. Much more pleasant voice to listen to....and a nicer face to look at. I don't like being screamed at by Adam.

Totally 80s Tuesday

Remember the band Exposé? I used to love some of their songs. Here are a few goodies....

"Let Me Be the One": This one has some great 80s hair and clothing. Note the big bows!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6S1VwZi984

Hug Whores

I recently experienced my semi-annual hug with one of my friends on her birthday. It's always a momentous experience when we hug. Why? Because somehow, within my circle of friends and acquaintances, I have become known as a "non-hugger."

I'm not really sure how I got this label, because I'm not really anti-hug. I am probably not very good at initiating hugs, because I don't know if people really want to be hugged, and well, initiating a hug is just putting yourself "out there." Will the hug be reciprocated? What if it's not? Will I look dumb? Plus--there is that whole "space issue" of mine. But I don't think that makes me a non-hugger. I hug!! If someone wants to give me a hug, I'll hug them! And when I do initiate a hug, I can assure you it will be with someone whom I like and genuinely care about. If I'm going to get close enough to someone that I can smell their hair and boob bash with them, it better be with someone I'm willing to do that with, ya know? I don't just throw my hugs out, all willy-nilly. That just cheapens the hug. So if it's twice a year you get your hug, well then, doesn't that just make your hugs from me that much more special? I am many things, but a hug whore I am not!

You know the hug whore type--the people who just go around hugging anyone and everyone. Because they hug everyone, then it makes you feel like your hug isn't genuine. Yours isn't special. Everyone gets a hug. So why should it mean much?

It's a basic law of economics: hug whoring = hug inflation.

When the supply of hugs is so large that everyone's getting hugs, and you're giving everyone hugs, then the value of the hug decreases rapidly. Its value plummets! A hug's worth becomes very little. When this happens, you'll have to give twice the hugs in order to get the same effect. But see, my hugs with my friends are very valuable, fabulous, journal-worthy events because they're so rare. My hugs are full of value. And love.

(Right here is where I'd like to add the disclaimer that hug inflation does not apply to children and family member hugs. The value of the hug to a child is never lost, no matter how many times you give it. Same goes with spouses and those closest to you.)

One of my favorite friend hugs occurred many years ago when I had gone out to dinner with some friends. After dinner, one of my friends was being dropped off at her house, and she wanted to show us something in her garage. So we were in her garage, and after we saw what we came to see, as we were saying our goodbyes and offering our fond farewells, a spontaneous group hug occurred. Very rare indeed! Anyhow, we were group hugging and laughing about how ridiculous and momentous the whole thing was when this friend's husband walked into the garage, stared at us for a few seconds, and then, with ne'er a word, he closed the door and went back inside. He was speechless--not quite sure what to do with what was before him. I can't say I blame him. A group hug is on a whole 'nother level!

Anyhow, back to the hug economics. The only way to solve hug inflation is to decrease the supply. Withold the hugs. That is all I'm trying to do. I'm just doing my part.

How about you? Are you part of the hug inflation solution, or are you part of the problem?

Totally 80s Tuesday

Today, I would like to focus on a particular body part and how it was so beautifully adorned during the 80s. Your favorite and mine.....the ankle.

Now, I chose this body part today because I just about passed out in pain this morning when I hit my ankle on my car door. I know, I know, it sounds like nothing major...but I experienced major pain. I seriously don't remember the last time I felt pain like that. Probably not since I was in labor with Wonderella. It was that bad. And I realized, that if I had been wearing either of the following, then I would not have been injured so badly:




Ah, yes....the beloved slouch socks and leg warmers. They would've provided so much padding and protection for my ever-so sensitive and delicate ankles. Now, I didn't actually ever wear leg warmers, except for in my ballet class (yes, that's where I learned to be so graceful and elegant), but the slouch socks? Oh yeah, baby. I loved my slouch socks. I'd wear them over the bottom of my pants--always in a color matching my shirt....and very often I'd wear more than one pair to add a double-color look. So cool.

Also, I was a big fan of this:
The pegged pants. So lovely. And so flattering on the ankles. Merely rolling the pants up a couple times just didn't cut it. A fold and peg before the roll was necessary.

I actually kind of wish that pegging was still in. As a short woman, the pegging of the pants would sure make it easier to find and wear pants the right length. It is hard to find pants for shorties like me! Yes, I know there is the Petites section in many stores, and many brands make short lengths of their pants--but not enough! Pegging would be a fine solution!

How about you? Were you a pegger? A sloucher? A leg warmerer? What did you adorn your precious ankles with?

What the ? Wednesday

1. I'd just like to comment on Danny Gokey's performance on American Idol last night. My apologies to you Gokey fans out there...but those last shrieks of Aerosmith's "Dream On" were absolutely horrific. Dream on is right! Dream on that you think you can pull that off, Gokey. I like Gokey--he's got a great voice--but he's no Steve Tyler and that song was way too big for him. He shouldn't have attempted that scream. But I guess good for him for trying. Or something like that...
   
   
2. Have you heard how England has banned radio talk show host Michael Savage from entering the country because they feel his views are too extreme? He's on a list with Muslim activists, murderers and terrorists. Gosh, I am not a fan of Michael Savage, because I find him a little too abrasive and mean-spirited...but I've listened to him enough to know that he does not promote violence. He's passionate about his views and positions, and obviously not everyone agrees with him, but to ban someone from the country because you don't agree with his politics (that millions of people share with him by the way)? Seems to be going down quite the slippery slope.
   
   
3. Billions more dollars needed for the banks? Are you kidding me? Yeah, just keep throwing money at them, boys. One of these days it'll stick. To hell with the taxpayers who are footing the bill.... I don't think I'll ever stop being amazed at the federal government's incredible ability to reward and enable failure.
   

Totally 80s Tuesday

Not much time to write today....I wasted too much time watching Organic Idol videos on YouTube today. Wow. The organic crowd is quite the lively bunch, I tell you what. Here's my personal favorite....Brace yourselves....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9kib4jn18E

Now, back to the 80s....

Because I don't have time to write much, I will only offer this video...My brother was the proud owner of the Paul McCartney album with this song on it. It was a goodie....co-starring Michael Jackson....back when he looked humanlike....

Happy "Yes You May" Day

It being May 1st, I have just one thing to say, ala Guenevere (from Camelot):

It's May, it's May! The lusty month of May! The month of "yes, you may."

Now, the reason I quote that delightfully evil song is because I have been reading a very interesting and funny book called "America Alone" by Mark Steyn. In it, he talks about how the Western world is not reproducing enough.

In order for a nation to sustain a stable, no-growth population, it needs 2.1 live births per woman. Most European countries are nowhere near that! Europe's fertility rate as a whole is 1.38 live births per woman. European countries' low fertility rates are literally putting these countries out of business. These nations do not have enough young people to work to support all the old people and their entitlements. Eventually, the populations of these nations will start to decrease. This is already happening in some places. The only demographic group in Europe that is populating at a fast rate is the Muslim population. This explains why Muslims have taken over large segments of Europe. This is a very disturbing, dangerous trend for very obvious reasons.

The United States is the only Western country that has a fertility rate of 2.1 children per woman. We just barely hit the mark of maintaining a stable population.

Putting all religious and moral reasons aside for a moment--just as a responsible, patriotic citizen, I just might need to have more kids! I was talking with my brother about this, and he was saying how sometimes when he tells people he has 4 kids they look at him like he's insane. Those of you with larger families know the look. So my brother decided that the next time he gets that response, he might just say "Listen, if I don't reproduce...take a look around at who is. Is that what you want?"

So reproduce, people! Ask yourself....if you don't...who will? Look around at who is reproducing and ask yourself if that is what you want for the future of this country and the world. Now get on it! It's the lusty month of May!! No more March Madness or March Mayhem. It's now May Madness! It's your patriotic duty!

Please, Won't You Be My Neighbor?

Spring is upon us...and that means warmer weather...which means the dreaded opening of the windows. I spoke about this in the fall--about how happy I was when it was cool enough to close the windows and not let all the neighbors hear the inner workings and adventures of our blessed homestead.

But now, it is time to open the windows again--time to be outside and have to associate with your neighbors. And, in my case, time to try a pathetic attempt at actually being a neighbor. So I only know a handful of my neighbors! So what? Maybe I don't want to know them. But I have resolved to do better this spring/summer. I will be all that Mr. Fred Rogers dreamed I could be. So, in this spirit, I have come up with a list of neighborly do's and don'ts. All based on personal experience. So I present to you....

Neighborliness 101
aka How to Put the "Neigh" in Neighbor

• Do not form a high school band and practice in your garage at an unimaginable decibel level--complete with screaming, drums, and amped-up guitars at all hours of the day and/or night.
  
  
• Do not forget to take out your garbage the night before garbage day, resulting in your needing to dump and roll your noisy recyclable goods and sanitary waste cans at 4:45 am.
  
  
• Do not yell at my child regarding an incident that you did not even see. And actually, do not, I repeat, do NOT, ever yell at my child for any reason or I will slap you. As we've discussed before, it does not take a village to raise a child. It takes the Value Village.
  
  
• Do not sit on your back deck providing 24 hour surveillance of my property. Though it's nice to know that someone's "looking out for me," it creeps me out.
  
  
• Do not send your 8 year old to tell my 8 year old that her religion is a lie and stupid and that because of her faith, she is going to hell.
  
  
• Do not try to sell my belongings in your garage sale...and actually, while we're at it, just don't have a garage sale.
  
  
• Do not invite yourself over to my BBQs and shindigs.
  
  
• Do not eat my tomatoes.
  
  
• Do not sob uncontrollably all the time. It's a real buzz-kill.
  
  
• Do not let your dog come into my backyard and poop.
  
  
• Do not tell a child that her mother has a fat a$$.
  
  
• Do brush your teeth. And wear deodorant.
  
  
• Don't wear tight sweat pants.
  
  
• I've mentioned this one before, but do not hang your clothes on a clothesline in your backyard. I don't care how cheap you are. Is it really worth your dignity?
  
  
• Do not let your children knock on my door more than once within a 5 minute span.
  
  
• Do leave your windows open when you are having a fight with your spouse. It provides great entertainment, and makes me feel better about my own life.
  
  
• Do not drive a 1986 GMC Jimmy.
  
  
• Do not hang a chandelier shaped like male anatomy in your front entrance where all can see it through the window as they drive by.
  
  
• Do bring me large zucchinis from your garden. And strawberries, apples, and pine cones.
  
  
• Do not bark like a chihuahua during your more, how shall we say....private moments.
  
  
• And speaking of dogs, shut them the heck up.
  
  

Based on your experiences, what are your neighborly do's and don'ts? Come on--I know you've got some good ones!

What the He!! Wednesday

Yessssss. A new daily theme. If you haven't noticed, I like my daily themes. I need a little structure in my life.

Soooo, on Wednesdays, I'm going to write about all those random things that make me think "What the hell?" I'm going to try to jam all my rantings into one day. I'm gonna save them all up for Wednesday. Well...at least I'm going to try. Sometimes things happen, and I just have to write about them THEN. Sometimes I can't help myself. But I'm gonna try to save it for Wednesdays.

The good news is that if you don't like my rantings, then you don't have to read on Wednesdays. You can avoid it. Also, by jamming all my frustrations into one post, it leaves me to be my usual delightful self the rest of the week. And who doesn't want that? Who?

This does mean that you will be reading the word "hell" once a week. If this offends you...well...I'm sorry. I have softened the blow by using exclamation marks for the 'l's. Does that help any? I hope so.

So, after that long and overdrawn introduction, let's get to our first What the Hell Wednesday.

1. Obama's first 100 days? Who the heck cares? He sucks. I've said it before, and I'll say it again...Amateur hour at the White House. I get the feeling he has no clue what he is doing--other than giving us that "fundamental change" he promised us. I have to ask, is this the change you were looking for, America? Cuz if it is, then you are stupid. Let's see....in his first 100 days, he's increased international funding for abortions, made the government the primary owner of GM, basically taken over many banks, given us trillion dollar deficits, told us he is going to give us cap and trade (can't wait!), appointed tax-cheats to his Cabinet, revealed interrogation secrets and practices that make our country less safe, indicated he might be interested in prosecuting Bush advisers, increased government spending by astronomical amounts, etc., etc., etc. The list could go on. All of these things are pathetic and scary and are leading us down a very dangerous path.
   
   
2. Another presidential press conference today? Really? Really? Does he realize it costs the networks that carry it millions of dollars in lost advertising? Does he even care? Please, Obama, step away from the teleprompter and do something worthwhile. We don't need to hear any more of your "inspiring" speeches. Good for Fox for not carrying it. Enough already!
   By the way, did you see the clip of him when he got ahead of his teleprompter? hahaha. He can't function without it. Sad, really.
   
   
   
3. Swine Flu? Grrrrrreat. Just what we need. I don't care if it sounds racist, but I did, in fact, tell Wonderella to stay away from any sick Mexicans. I tell her to stay away from any one who is sick, but in particular, right now, sick Mexicans. She has a few Mexicans in her school who do frequently go back to Mexico to visit relatives. Well, then....stay away from my kid. If that's racist, well, then...call me racist. Facts are facts. It is what it is.
   
   
4. Michelle Obama, Tim Geithner, and Rahm Emmanuel made part of People's "Most Beautiful" list? Wow. I guess love really is blind.

Ahhhh...I feel much better now. Thanks for the rant.

Gee, Thanks, Arlen

Arlen Specter is an idiot.

I really can't stand it when politicians jump parties after an election. As far as I'm concerned, if you run as a Republican, you stay a damn Republican until it's time for re-election. Lots of people voted for him because he was a Republican. It's not fair to them to jump ship. But no, because he doesn't want to face another Republican in the primary in Pennsylvania, Specter will declare himself a Democrat.

Ugh.

This would all be annoying enough...but the fact that he is going to give the Senate a filibuster-proof majority is scary. SCARY. Obama pretty much can get whatever the hell he wants done now. He can do whatever he wants, because he'll have the votes in the House and the Senate to do it.

This is not good news, for our country, people. Not good news. What happened to that whole "checks and balances" thing Specter was talking about just a month or so ago? Once again, he has sold his soul. I wonder what ol' Harry Reid promised him? I'd love to know. Which reminds me--did you hear about how back in 2005 or something, Barack Obama gave a speech of some sort, and Harry Reid told him how much he loved the speech, and Obama's response to Reid was, "I have a gift?" Awesome. Our president is gifted. And humble.

Anyhow, I hope you Pennsylvanians are sure proud of your Senator.

This guy's 79 years old, in his FIFTH term, and going insane I think. Term limits! Now!!

Totally 80s Tuesday

One of my favorite shows to watch as a kid was The Muppet Show. Loved it! I think my favorite muppets were Animal and Beaker....and the two ornery old guys....and Gonzo....Ok, it's hard to have a favorite. I LOVED this show. That was good television.

One of my favorite songs of theirs:


And, in recognition of the swine flu sweeping across Mexico and now the world (is it wrong to tell your kids to stay away from the Mexican kids at school?), here's a little of my favorite swine: Miss Piggy, of course. This video's borderline 90s, but has a lot of guest appearances....including...wait for it, wait for it....The Hoff. Yes, the Hoff.



And, on the Jim Henson theme...another one of my childhood favorites, Fraggle Rock.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aky72-gyLLI
I actually checked out the first season of Fraggle Rock from the library last summer and my kids loved it! I love it when they love the same things I did when I was a kid.

Decisions, Decisions...

I'm sad today. Recently, in fulfilling my duties as a commissioner, I have taken part in the crushing of a very nice young man's goals. I don't like that feeling. Don't like it at all.

The decision our commission came to was the right one....but the outcome of our decision is not right...at least it doesn't feel right. It's all very unfortunate. Complicated. Confusing. Sad.

Maybe I care too much. Is that possible?

What do you do when you have a decision to make and know that either choice is going to make somebody unhappy? What do you do when you've made a decision that you know is right, but just feels wrong?

Sigh....time to go eat some Cadbury's Dark Chocolate Mini-Eggs. Nature's goodness.

A Banner is Unfurled

I'd just like to give a shout out to my friend Laura who designed my lovely new banner. Apparently she found my previous banner drab and unacceptable. She could endure it no longer. Or, perhaps she thought I deserved more. In either case, I love it and think she did a great job. Fine workmanship, indeed, don't you think?

And, yes, those are my stubby hands....that is my toaster....and that is my guitar. Of course, not a real guitar, but my Guitar Hero guitar. Which is a real guitar to me.

Now, some of you may look at the cutesy flowers of my background and think they don't go with the new banner. Au contraire, my friends. They all go together to demonstrate my many layers. My sweet side...my oh so naughty side. My cool side...which is dwarfed by my dork side. All part of the Magic Shell.

Thanks, Laura!

What a Girl Wants

I would like to share with you a gift that I received recently. I hope you all won't get too jealous. I told you about my friend who was recently in Washington DC...well, he came back with something special for me...from the "My Obama Shop" I told you about. "A special gift to cherish always," to use his words.

Here it is....
A Barack Obama Paper Dolls Book. Please note, that this is a special Green Edition. Of course. We would not expect anything less.




Amazing aren't they? I just love paper dolls. I've scanned in a few pages for your viewing pleasure.

Now, they're not quite as impressive on the computer screen as they are in your hands. Holding these hot little numbers in your two hands is.....surreal. But the publisher has taken painstaking steps to ensure that all of the outfits are authentic and real. They are recreations of actual clothing worn by the president and his wife and children. So no worries...don't need to worry about anyone putting a leather biker's outfit on Obama....or any other type of leather outfit. That wouldn't be appropriate, now would it?...




My personal favorite is this one of Obama in his swim trunks. Who doesn't want a paper doll of their president in his swim trunks? Who?
Remember when this photo came out from his vacation in Hawaii? Ooh-la-la! Remember the Obasms happening everywhere? "Oh, he's so handsome...Oh, he's so toned!" Yes, just what I look for in a president. Qualified!

I also rather like this one of Michelle. Note the regal placement of her fingers. Like a queen.

Oh, and the book came with an election night score card to check off the states as the election results were announced. Of course, if you were watching the election results on NBC, I sure hope you had an eraser....

Now, to be fair, the publisher did make paper dolls for McCain too. These were made during the election season obviously. So this making paper dolls of the candidates thing is a nonpartisan affair...and my friend told me it is actually a tradition that goes back a few years. In either case, I am the proud owner of Obama paper dolls. Mine....all mine.

If you would like some for yourself, and I know you do, then you can find them here:
http://www.obamapaperdolls.com/more.html

As a sidenote, my friend, let's call him "J," also told me that in the My Obama Shop there were Obama chocolate bars. I asked J if they were made out of dark chocolate, white chocolate, milk chocolate, or what. Apparently they're made out of milk chocolate. Glad to know they're trying to keep it authentic..... What would have made it even more authentic is if it were made of milk chocolate and then filled with nuts.

Also, I'm not sure if they sold these at the "My Obama Shop," but I saw this online and fell in love. Mother's Day gifts anyone?

Happy Earth Day!

Happy Earth Day to you and yours! May you treat the earth with the proper kindness and respect it deserves. This includes the following:

• using only 1 square of toilet paper to do your business. Maybe 2 squares on those tougher jobs. Maybe. Use discretion.
  
  
• installing those CFL lightbulbs that supposedly last longer and use less energy, but that actually have mercury in them. And we all know how good mercury is for you.
  
  
• stopping Sunday drives. Who the hell do you think you are driving just for the fun of it? The earth is dying, people! This is no time for fun! Do you know how many greenhouse emissions you have released for your little joyride?
  
  
• drying your clothes and underclothes and unmentionables on a clothesline in your backyard. The neighbors will love it. Trust me, I know.
  
  
• taking the bus to the mall or store. Who cares if you fear for your life?! What is more important--YOUR life, or the earth's life? Quit being so selfish.
  
  And so on. Use your imagination, and I'm sure you can come up with more ways to save the earth.
  

Tell Us How You Really Feel...

Have you heard about the Miss USA pageant contestant who caused controversy by DARING to have an opinion and share it when she was asked?

From http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,517137,00.html :

"Miss North Carolina Kristen Dalton was crowned Miss USA on Sunday, but the big story to come out of the normally politics-free telecast was Miss California's comments regarding gay marriage.

When asked by judge Perez Hilton, an openly gay gossip blogger, whether she believed in gay marriage, Miss California, Carrie Prejean, said 'We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite. And you know what, I think in my country, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there, but that's how I was raised.'

Keith Lewis, who runs the Miss California competition, tells FOXNews.com that he was 'saddened' by Prejean's statement.

'As co-director of the Miss California USA, I am personally saddened and hurt that Miss California believes marriage rights belong only to a man and a woman,' said Lewis in a statement. 'I believe all religions should be able to ordain what unions they see fit. I do not believe our government should be able to discriminate against anyone and religious beliefs have no politics in the Miss California family.'

Miss California's answer sparked a shouting match in the lobby after the show. 'It's ugly,' said Scott Ihrig, a gay man, who attended the pageant with his partner. 'I think it's ridiculous that she got first runner-up. That is not the value of 95 percent of the people in this audience. Look around this audience and tell me how many gay men there are.'"

Ok, so let me see if I have this straight. A woman is in a beauty pageant. During the competition, she is ASKED if she believes in gay marriage. She answers the question and speaks her mind and says she's not (how dare she!), and then is scorned by others for it? Here's a question--why was this question even asked during the pageant? Is this a litmus test for being Miss USA? They obviously knew it was going to cause drama...perhaps that was what they were looking for.

This post is not to debate gay marriage. It really doesn't have anything to do with gay marriage. It is to merely to comment on the idiocy of the idea that somehow, people are to be demonized, criticized, or punished for having an opinion that may or may not be popular in some circles. She was asked a question, and she answered it. Obviously not the way some people wanted her to. But good for her for being honest--to Perez Hilton no less.

According to some, her opinion on gay marriage should have immediately ruined her chances in the competition. How ridiculous is that? Really. Regardless of your stance on gay marriage, if you're being intellectually honest, you must be able to realize how idiotic that is. So you don't agree with her opinion? Fine. You have that right. But to discredit her and basically label her as an unworthy Miss California for feeling the way she does? Stupid. I thought that what they wanted were strong, opinionated, principled women who can stand on their own 2 feet and give an honest, poised response to the questions given them. Why the shock? Not to mention the fact that her position is in line with the majority of her state. Ugh, this story just makes me mad. It is just wrong on so many levels.

Funny...I thought we were allowed to have free speech and freedom of thought in America. But perhaps not...

By the way, I don't want this to turn into a gay marriage debate, so I disabled comments on this post. Methinks it might be better that way....